Four easy payments

"You can have this product for four easy payments of 19.95." I want a product for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment! We can't tell you which one, but one of those payments is gonna be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination; good luck, fucker! That last payments has to be paid in wampum!"